Excerpts from No
Shadows Left Behind
Once the class members have all
settled in their seats after lunch, Miss Bates asks, "Does everyone know
what an autobiography is?"
Christy
knows what an autobiography is; she has read several of them about her favourite
artists. Christy wonders, Where is she going with this?
Miss
Bates waits a couple of moments. "Just to be sure: An autobiography is a
story written by you, about you—about your life, where you were born, your
hobbies, your interests." She writes "Autobiography" on the
whiteboard. "I would like each of you to write one. Include major events
that have happened in your lives, up to this point. I also want you to include
your ambitions and what you want to do in the future."
This could
be fun, Christy thinks,
writing down the assignment in her notebook.
"Minimum
is eight pages. This is due two weeks from Friday." Miss Bates goes on
talking about rough copies, how she wants it to be typed, what to put on the
cover page, and other various instructions about the assignment.
Christy's
mind drifts away from the classroom and she finds herself thinking of her
father. What am I going to do when he comes back? I don't want to play his
games any more… But he’ll hurt me if I don’t. Maybe I can hide at Mrs. Collier's…
It hurts too much to play Daddy's games anymore. I can't… I'm way too old for
this, to pretend like I believe it’s all a game.
"Christy!"
Startled,
Christy looks up. Beth is standing at her desk, wearing a concerned look.
"Are
you all right? You've been staring into space for a while. It’s time to
go."
Christy
blinks and looks around her. Kids are packing up and Miss Bates is erasing the
whiteboard.
"The
first day of school is over. Come on."
"I
guess I was lost in thought," Christy says, hurriedly packing up her bag.
"Yeah,
you were…"
***
“So, did you always want to be a
teacher?"
"Pretty
much," Melissa replies. "I was very blessed to have some good
teachers along the way. I loved to study and I loved school; it made
sense."
Darren
nods. "I think you're the first person I’ve met… who actually wanted to be
a teacher. The rest of them, like me, fell into it accidentally. Maybe that's
why we all ended up at the Collegiate, someplace where we could exercise our
creative muscles and have more freedom. Maybe that's what’s also made
you…"
"An
outcast?" Melissa supplies.
The
waiter returns, placing their plates in front of them.
"Oh,
I wouldn’t say that. Just aloof. You just seemed… really hard to talk to,"
Darren says diplomatically. He looks despairingly at the measly salad in front
of him.
Melissa
arranges her hearty meal on her plate. "I can talk in front of a class of
thirteen-year-olds, but generally speaking, social interaction isn't my strong
suit. This year, I decided to try. That's due, in part, to your coaxing."
Darren
waves his hand dismissively at her comment. "I just thought you were the
quiet type, and if one of us went and approached you, invited you in, you'd
feel more welcome. Although it took five years to figure that out."
"Did
you draw straws, then?" Melissa asks, the words coming out colder-sounding
than she meant them to.
"No,
nothing like that," Darren says, spearing a forkful of his salad. "It
was just my own thinking, not a group discussion. Honestly, I found you—and find
you—kind of captivating."
Melissa
nearly chokes on a fry. "Why?"
"Well,
honestly, you barely spoke a word to any of us. It wasn't that you weren't
friendly, but you seemed so timid and withdrawn. I thought: how could this
woman possibly teach? And then word started going around about your classes and
the after-school stuff you headed up, how fun and interesting they were. So I
thought maybe you didn't like interacting with the other staff, or you just
didn't like socializing… But if you suffer from anxiety attacks, you're
probably not overly fond of crowds…"
Melissa
momentarily freezes at the conclusion Darren has drawn.
Darren,
seeing her tense, reaches out and puts his hand over her arm. "Hey, I
didn't mean anything by that; it’s just an observation."
Melissa
smiles tensely. "Sorry. For a moment there, I forgot I had told you."
"Well,
you did and that's all right. It’s not a big deal… So why does it seem like
it’s a big deal to you?"
Melissa
looks up at the ceiling, noticing how dirty it is. She looks around at the
other tables in her favourite restaurant, and realizes they are mostly occupied
by single people. After a couple of moments, she says, "Because of what
they're related to… I don't trust people easily, nor do I let them in
often."
Darren
nods. "Are you going to eat that?" he asks, pointing at her burger.
Melissa
smiles, feeling herself relax. She cuts the burger in half. "Here."
***
